Ranma's Pig Tale
by Gray
Summary: The first (to my knowledge) Ranma+Akari fic! As always, I'm just trying something new. Give it a read! (Do you get the pun?)


Disclaimer: It isn't mine

Disclaimer: It isn't mine.

Ranma ½ 

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Ranma's Pig Tale  By Gray 

It wasn't the first time that Ranma had fought Ryoga, and it certainly wasn't going to be the last. Really, the two young men had been rivals ever since their very first meeting. Of course, the stakes for their duels were usually a little higher these days then a simple piece of bread, but nevertheless, the two were rivals in every sense of the word. Of course, if one were to look closely and analyze the situation thoughtfully, then one would see that Ranma never put his all into any of their battles. Perhaps he used to, but somewhere between Pantyhose Taro and Herb, Ryoga just stopped being a serious challenge to him. Sure the Shi Shi Hokodan technique had thrown him for a loop at first, but like any new challenge, Ranma simply saw it, adapted to it, and defeated it. Still, if nothing else, Ryoga did make for a good sparring partner, even if the lost boy didn't think of it like that. To him, it was a duel to the death, a test of strength. Two men battling for the sake of overcoming the other in mortal combat. Yes he had a flair for the dramatic, but that's what traveling alone constantly and finding and hearing all sorts of strange things along the way will do to you. So it was, the common sight of the two young warriors locked in battle in the streets greeted the residents of Nerima on this bright Saturday morning. Naturally, they gave them their room. They weren't stupid after all. 

"This time, I will kill you Ranma!" Three guesses as to who said that. 

"Yeah right, in your dreams porky!" One guess as to who spoke those words. Ranma casually flipped to avoid a straight punch from his rival that could flatten a car and landed lightly on his feet a few yards away. Ryoga snarled, and whipped off a few bandannas to toss at his nemesis. Ranma sighed in annoyance.

"Aw geez! Don't you ever come up with something new? You guys are all the same! You, Mousse, Kuno, you all use the same dumb tricks over and over again! And every time I beat you up anyway! Yeesh! You'd think you guys would learn by now!" Ryoga chose not to respond to the barb, instead growing an even angrier scowl on his face if that were possible, and twirling the two bandannas he held in each hand even faster to generate more momentum. Then, with a flick of his wrist, they were off, sailing towards their master's target with deadly accuracy. Of course, to one who can grab chestnuts from an open fire without being burned, deadly accuracy is no big deal. Ranma simply spun to the side, and let the projectiles go flying harmlessly by, only to land on the ground a ways away. Ranma smirked in his usual manner and decided that enough was enough.

"Guess piggy isn't going to be pulling any new tricks out of his hat, time to end this…" The pigtailed wonder thought as he saw Ryoga fuming and preparing to charge. 

"Too easy…" Ranma muttered, before meeting Ryoga's charge head-on. As Ryoga threw a quick sidekick, Ranma easily moved to the side to avoid it, and then applied a light shove to make the lost one lose his balance. Ryoga stumbled but regained it just in time to hear the words he hated so much.

"Kachu-Tenshin Amaguriken!" After about 1000 incredibly potent punches to his cranium, Ryoga's body finally decided enough was enough and promptly started to shut down. It seemed that Ranma had increased his speed even more recently, as the technique, familiar as it was to Ryoga since it seemed to be Ranma's favorite way of defeating him, was even quicker than normal. His last thought was of how to formulate a counter to the potent attack, before darkness claimed him. 

"Curse you Ranma…" 

Ranma groaned as he saw that he had knocked his opponent out cold. He knew he should have just gone for that five-hit combination attack instead of the Amaguriken, it's just that he really wanted to try out the new and improved version, and he figured that Ryoga was tough enough to take it.

"Oh well, guess I better take him back to the dojo until he recovers…" Shrugging, Ranma scooped the inert body of his foe into his arms, and held him in a fireman's carry while heading for the dojo. He also made sure to grab the boy's heavy pack laying a ways away and held it in his other arm. The thing was heavy, but not to much for Ranma, whose own pack while training was just as bad, though the umbrella added a bit of extra weight, but not enough to make that much of a difference to him.

"Man, I sure hope Kasumi is making something good for lunch today…I could go for something really delicious right about now…maybe tempura…yeah, shrimp tempura…mmmm…" As Ranma was lost in the magical land of deep-fried shrimp and other foods, he failed to notice a very large object coming towards him. Now normally, the sight of a massive pig with a girl riding atop it would make one goggle and gape like an idiot, but when he finally did snap out of his hunger trance, Ranma just smiled in greeting.

"Hey! Akari! What's up?" The girl with the pink stripes in her hair smiled in return and dismounted from her porcine steed.

"Hello to you Ranma. It's so nice to see you once more. How are things?" She asked cheerfully, momentarily ignoring the unconscious form that she knew to be her betrothed slung over Ranma's shoulder in favor of being polite for a moment.

"Oh, you know, same ol', same ol'…" He shrugged, making Ryoga's body shake a bit. Akari glanced at him as if she had just seen him.

"Oh dear, is that my darling Ryoga…?" She said while biting her lip a bit. Ranma sighed and nodded his head.

"Yeah, we fought again and he lost…sorry about that…" Akari nodded at his words and moved behind Ranma to look at Ryoga's face.

"Hmm, well, he's just unconscious so why don't you give him to me. I'll take him back to the ranch." She said. Ranma however had another idea.

"No, it's too far for you to carry him, even with Katsunishiki to help you, plus there's his pack." He then smiled.

"I got it! Why not stop by the Dojo with me and wait for him to wake up?" He said, to which Akari looked down and thought about it.

"Well, I guess I could…" She said, before Ranma smiled.

"Great! Then let's go!" He then headed for the general direction of the Dojo with Akari walking beside him, and Katsunishiki trailing behind.

"He certainly is cheerful, not really like my Ryoga, who's always so depressed and insecure…" She thought as she observed Ranma's profile out of the corner of her eye. The sunlight glinting off of his deep blue eyes, and the simple smile he had on his face made her realize exactly why he had so many fiancées, and why many men, including her own Ryoga, were so jealous of him.

"He really is handsome…" She thought with a slight blush. Ranma didn't seem to notice her study of his features, and instead was concentrating on thinking about all of the wonderful food he was going to consume when he got home. Unfortunately, as they were walking, a puddle on the ground was suddenly splashed onto Ranma when a car drove by. Naturally, this also triggered his and Ryoga's curses, leaving a grimacing short girl, and a soggy piglet.

"Damn it! It always happens! No matter what!" Ranma ranted, before visibly calming herself so as not to disturb Akari too much. She looked to the side, and saw that the pig-farmer was giggling at the scene.

"That's exactly what my Ryoga always says." She said with a smile. Ranma couldn't help but smile in return.

"Yeah well, these things ain't no picnic." Ranma muttered, referring to the curses. Akari nodded her head.

"That I can believe, although I must admit, I absolutely love Ryoga's!" She gushed as she took the little piglet from Ranma and cuddled it happily.

"Some guys have all the luck…" Ranma muttered with a slight smile.

"He may not be human when he changes, but the girls sure love 'im" He thought. Not that this sort of thing really bothered Ranma that much. He had enough women problems without having to be jealous of Ryoga's cute factor as a pig. He just hated the fact that Ryoga did nothing really to discourage the girls from cuddling them to their chests.

"And then there's Akane…" Ranma thought with a slight scowl. He despised the fact that not only did his so-called fiancée treat a pig better than him, but also that said pig was Ryoga of all people! Of course, when it came to figuring out the curse, the tomboy could be as dense as Kuno sometimes. But that was just Akane he supposed, and she would probably always be that way. He snapped out of his thoughts when he realized Akari was speaking to him.

"Huh?" He said intelligently.

"I said, would you like to get some hot water?" She asked smiling. Ranma nodded.

"Yeah, I guess so. That'd be great Akari." He said as they came upon a restaurant that looked as good a place as any. Naturally, Katsunishiki waited outside.

'Let's try in here." Akari said, to which Ranma nodded, still holding Ryoga's heavy pack. They stepped into the restaurant, and were immediately seen by a waiter.

"Welcome. Table for two?" He said quickly, and without giving the two of them a chance to respond, he had whisked them away to a nearby table, and Ranma and Akari found themselves seated and with menus before they could even blink. P-chan was still unconscious, and the heavy pack had been placed near the table.

"Um, okay…" Ranma said slowly.

"I'll just go and get some water and we can…" He was stopped by a hand on his arm.

"No Ranma, let's just eat while we're here, it would be rude to leave now, and besides, I'm actually quite hungry." She said. Finally, Ranma relented, but he insisted on getting some hot water for himself, since it would look "weird" if two girls ate at a restaurant together. Akari laughed at that. Now male, Ranma and Akari ate in companionable silence, unsure of what to say.

"So um, how's the ranch?" Ranma finally asked. Akari blinked at the question.

"Good, good. Katsunishiki won a competition recently actually." She said. Ranma nodded.

"That's…uh, good." He replied. For some reason, his response made her laugh, and once she started, she just couldn't stop.

"Um, what's so funny?" He asked curiously. She continued to laugh and pointed at him.

"You!" She managed to get out. He stared at her in confusion for several moments as she continued to laugh, before finally joining her with a shrug. Finally, they both stopped. Akari wiped a tear from her eye and smiled at him.

"Thank you Ranma, it's been a while since I had a good laugh like that." She said smiling at him.

"Heh, no problem Akari, um, glad to be of service." He said, returning the smile. They continued to smile at each other for several moments, lost in their thoughts.

"He really is a lot different from Ryoga. Not as morbid or at times meek and dopey. I mean, that makes my Ryoga cute and all, but at the same time, it's nice to be around someone who doesn't feel like committing seppuku all the time, and who has some self-confidence." Akari thought to herself, not thinking about her beloved Ryoga lying still unconscious in her arms in his animal form. Meanwhile, Ranma was having thoughts of his own.

"Man, she sure is cute, but there's more to it than that. She's just so…pleasant. Like a sunny day or something, and I don't have to walk on eggshells around her, unlike Akane. I can relax, be myself…" They were snapped out of their daze when their waiter returned.

"The bill." He said as he presented said document and waited for them to pay. Akari was prepared to pay, but Ranma decided that just this once he would treat a girl, and paid the tab, though Nabiki would not be pleased when debt payment came around, but it was worth it to see Akari smile gratefully. After leaving, they began to head towards the dojo. They walked and chatted about little things. Things that didn't really matter, but were fun to talk about, and for the first time in his life, Ranma felt comfortable. Which of course, meant that fate had to interfere.

"Die Saotome!" The familiar cry rang out once more. Ranma snapped into action and scooped up Akari and leapt away. Several dozen chains and sharp pointy objects impacted the spot they had been standing moments later.

"Mousse! You stupid idiot! What the hell do you think you're doing!?" He yelled angrily. The spectacled wonder didn't reply and instead sent a barrage of knives and shuriken flying towards Ranma and his passenger. Cursing, the young martial artist dodged to the side and then leapt up to avoid the second wave of projectiles. 

"Stupid freaking idiot…" Ranma muttered as he gently set Akari down during a temporary reprieve. Standing to his full height, Ranma pointed a finger at his Amazon foe.

"I'm sick and tired of you duck boy! Bad enough you attack me, but putting a non-combatant in danger is where I draw the line!" So saying, he dashed towards Mousse, spinning to the side to dodge his chains, and leaping over several misc. objects, coming ever closer to his opponent with every move. Finally, he reached an acceptable range, and executed a snap-kick that struck Mousse in the chest, catapulting him away, towards a street light, which he slammed into. The other boy slumped in seeming unconsciousness and Ranma sighed in relief. He was about to walk back over to where Akari was standing, when Mousse suddenly sprang up. Unfortunately, his glasses were off, and he mistook Akari, who wore a red skirt, for Ranma, who wore a red shirt, and lobbed several knives at her. Their razor tips glinted as Ranma's eyes widened. Akari herself was frozen in place. Cursing, Ranma charged a ki-blast in his palms. It was quite strong considering how quickly he threw it, but he hadn't had time to properly create it, and so it wasn't very concentrated. Instead of forming a thin stream of sorts, it was wild and chaotic. It did stop the knives though, almost destroying them. It also had the unfortunate side effect of striking Akari's sumo pig Katsunishiki who had been hurtling towards its mistress in an attempt to shield her from the knives, and sending the porcine warrior into la-la land. Ranma didn't notice this, as he was too busy running to Mousse and lifting the blind fighter up by his neck with one hand and snarling in his face.

"How dare you place a non-combatant in danger because of your own stupidity! I've had it with you duck boy! Get lost!" So saying, the pig-tailed youth heaved Mousse into the air, where he went hurtling off towards who knows where. He watched him go with another growl.

"Can't believe that moron, not even making sure…she coulda been hurt, or worse…I oughta sic Shampoo on him…that stupid…" He didn't notice Akari walking up to him with a dazed look on her face.

"Ranma…You…Katsunishiki…" She stuttered out. Ranma turned and blinked at her.

"Huh? What is it Akari?" He asked curiously, concern for her radiating from his face.

"You…defeated…Katsunishiki…" She said quietly, as if in shock. Ranma blinked and wondered why that was so important.

"Hmmm, I know there's some reason why beating her pig is a mistake, now if I can just remember…" He stopped in mid-thought, his eyes widening to a point that seemed to be impossible. 

"OH NO!!!! AKANE IS GONNA KILL ME!!!" He yelled with a tremor of fear in his voice, though he would deny it if you called him on it. He nervously darted his eyes to and fro, waiting for the obligatory mallet to smash his face in at any moment. And that wasn't even going into what his other "admirers" were going to do to him when the news spread that he now had another fiancée. Then it hit him.

"Oh yeah! Ryoga already beat her pig! So I'm off the hook! YES!" He yelled happily sighed in relief. Akari looked down and wrung her hands nervously.

"Ah, actually Ranma…" She began. He stopped his celebration and stared at her.

"Actually what?" He asked with growing fear.

"Actually, if two people defeat Katsunishiki, then my Grandfather said that they have to fight to determine who will be my future husband…" She ducked her head down, blushing a bit. Ranma smacked his forehead loudly.

"Doh! Ah geez, now I have to fight pig-breath, and worse, I have to throw the damn fight! Crap!" He hated losing. Absolutely despised it. Especially to someone he normally fought and beat regularly. It seemed his life just kept getting better and better…

"Ranma! I bring you too-too delicious ramen! Why airen with pig girl!" He groaned.

"Ranchan! I brought you some okonomiyaki! It's your favorite! Hey! What's Ryoga's girlfriend doing with you?" He sighed.

"RANMA! WHY IS AKARI WITH YOU! AND WHY IS P-CHAN UNCONSCIOUS YOU PERVERT!" He gulped.

"Oh yeah. No doubt about it. I am sooo screwed now…"

Author's Notes: Another new story. Well, I just wanted to try something that, to my knowledge, has never been done before. And that is to pair Ranma with Akari. Strange match I know, and it may require a bit of ooc, but that's life. Anyway, as with any new and peculiar thing I try, I need feedback. So, drop me a line. By the way, does anyone know if Ukyo or Shampoo ever met Akari in the manga? And did I get the spelling of Katsunishiki right? Just curious. So until next time folks…

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